Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Dust Up (Poem)

Dust Up

Gesture this
vow you tracked long in
looping noes.
Noh drama
repeats what sticks: your face holds
our play behind masks.

© 2011 Maureen E. Doallas
__________________________

I offer this poem, written in Shadorma form (a six-line stanza following a 3-5-3-3-7-5 syllabic pattern), for the One Shot Wednesday event at One Stop Poetry, which each week invites poets to share, read, and comment on each other's work. Be sure to visit the site late Tuesday afternoon and every Wednesday for the many contributors' poems.

20 comments:

Louise Gallagher said...

your face holds / our play behind masks.

Now that-s powerful!

Well written Maureen you write great drama in few words! :)

nance marie said...

a wonderful word dance.

poemblaze said...

Beautiful little gem to ponder. You got me to look up the difference between Kabuki and Noh.

Anthony Desmond said...

such power in so few words... really enjoyed reading!

Brian Miller said...

your face holds our play behind masks....

two very superb lines maureen

juca2 said...

Condensed and dense. Less is more and indeed this is 'more'.. // Peter.

pandamoniumcat said...

Interesting verse, a little mystery in a few words.

ayala said...

Short and to the point!

signed...bkm said...

Repeats what sticks..my favorite line....tight and condensed write Maureen...bkm

Kim Nelson said...

I read and reread to play with cadence and emphasis. The play, the act, the mask. Oh, how they hinder relationship.

Beachanny said...

Economy of movement and words here, Maureen. As others' have said, life's drama condensed exceptionally well. Gay

Elizabeth Young said...

I particularly like: 'your face holds our play behind masks.'
Something extremely insightful there!

Pat Hatt said...

Play behind masks

That just hits the nail right on the head, very powerful write, nice.

Glynn said...

It's like watching one of those Noh dramas. Beautifully, and succinctly, done.

Reflections said...

Beautiful depth within your words so tenderly shared.

Grace O'Malley said...

This is a small jewel. Glad I found you!

C Rose said...

Powerful write, as stated in prior comments the final couplet is spectacular. Love the form too ~ Rose

Ann Grenier said...

Intriguing word play and use of metaphor with the Japanese plays. Quite an imaginative way to dramatize a "dust up" :-) Love it!

randallweiss said...

I believe I'll add to the praise of the last two lines. Well done.

Shashi said...

Dear Maureen

The last line was so perfect... and your use of words like 'Noh' was beautiful...


Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/06/whispers-lost-in-emptiness.html
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