tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post2600893077715290309..comments2024-02-03T14:41:13.330-05:00Comments on Writing Without Paper: A Rose Lip (Shadorma)Maureenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290283101378474845noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-33030611732290252992011-04-12T17:34:34.942-04:002011-04-12T17:34:34.942-04:00Hi, Maureen. I like what you have done with this f...Hi, Maureen. I like what you have done with this form. It is nice to see the 'alternate' version and it makes me feel like the poem is toggling back and forth between different images / different meanings, like looking at one of those hologram art postcards that shimmer back and forth between two different paintingsLorenzo — Alchemist's Pillowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07522265816460154722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-29856236666169052182011-04-12T10:49:43.509-04:002011-04-12T10:49:43.509-04:00Nice example of the form. Thanks for bringing thi...Nice example of the form. Thanks for bringing this to other readers.Steven Pagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09799157512641252014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-91528260587234923122011-04-12T02:25:11.730-04:002011-04-12T02:25:11.730-04:00So lovely, kind of juicy somehow.So lovely, kind of juicy somehow.Basque-Landhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04831826411062363382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-46704601335837753972011-04-11T22:52:14.904-04:002011-04-11T22:52:14.904-04:00Sexy is the word...
♥ ஆSexy is the word...<br /><br />♥ ஆHelena Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03022290127423654311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-39816972487611350072011-04-11T22:44:20.925-04:002011-04-11T22:44:20.925-04:00I like the version posted also...leaves more of a ...I like the version posted also...leaves more of a mystery for the heart to ponder...lovely...bkmsigned...bkmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03558304976280070986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-69686452267049702412011-04-11T18:11:01.083-04:002011-04-11T18:11:01.083-04:00Sweet and sexy. :)Sweet and sexy. :)L.L. Barkathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13333960142447144678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-61276545876273477742011-04-11T18:09:19.445-04:002011-04-11T18:09:19.445-04:00goodgoodAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-59920080131899587552011-04-11T17:20:41.483-04:002011-04-11T17:20:41.483-04:00Either way, they say a lot with few words.Either way, they say a lot with few words.S. Etolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01847206680320012887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-81300715652306759962011-04-11T16:38:14.793-04:002011-04-11T16:38:14.793-04:00Thank you for reading both versions. I'm leani...Thank you for reading both versions. I'm leaning toward the first as my favored, I think because of the ambiguity allowing for more open interpretation, as Gay says, and also because it is more sensual, as I initially wanted it to be.<br /><br />I like the form, and might try a series of related pieces.Maureenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13290283101378474845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-77170475797286450362011-04-11T16:00:52.464-04:002011-04-11T16:00:52.464-04:00The viewpoint definitely shifts a bit in the secon...The viewpoint definitely shifts a bit in the second. Both very well formed and well done, but agreeing with Gay, for some reason the first feels a bit more satisfying.hedgewitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13090696134322515899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-30809349786663853952011-04-11T14:54:13.797-04:002011-04-11T14:54:13.797-04:00I like the version you posted, creates room for du...I like the version you posted, creates room for dual interpretation. This way it's pretty sexy I think. Well written, either way, as always. Thank you, Maureen.Beachannyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08638256396472533685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-57964273075896031082011-04-11T14:34:00.266-04:002011-04-11T14:34:00.266-04:00Sensuous, tender... awesome piece.Sensuous, tender... awesome piece.Reflectionshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09655163868990155242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-60914229553574151092011-04-11T14:12:53.116-04:002011-04-11T14:12:53.116-04:00In a word, beautiful! : )In a word, beautiful! : )Louisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18216734722467789412noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2639339699258439249.post-9057399563782543032011-04-11T13:59:19.382-04:002011-04-11T13:59:19.382-04:00Here's a variation:
Her rose lip,
caressing, ...Here's a variation:<br /><br />Her rose lip,<br />caressing, searches<br />innermost<br />his answer.<br />Unsettled in morning light,<br />she's still left dreaming.Maureenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13290283101378474845noreply@blogger.com