Monday, September 6, 2010

You Don't Know (Poem)

You Don't Know

You don't know
to turn hard red clay into loam
to cultivate words

as other than their own trace elements.

You don't know
to count a page twice turned back
a story as likely unfinished as ever begun.

You don't know
to fix the cure of silence
to the moment spent caressing the edge

where tongues thicken with misunderstanding.

You don't know
to sweat the fear inside out
to prime the trigger finger's hold

to let go.

What you don't know
you don't know about me
is my patience to trill the brilliance of stars

in the deepest black holes.

© 2010 Maureen E. Doallas. All Rights Reserved.
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I wrote this poem for Carry On Tuesday, which each week provides a prompt that participants are to use wholly or partly in an original poem or prose piece.

The prompt for Tuesday, September 7, comes from the first words of Chapter 1 of Mark Twain's 1884 classic The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: You don't know about me. . . .  

To read other Carry on Tuesday contributors' poems or prose for Prompt #69, go here.

31 comments:

  1. i like this times a zillion.

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  2. MY, my, my that's some kind of delicious. Nancy knows.
    iLike X 1000000000000000000 too. :) :) :)

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  3. Oh, yes ... I agree to the nth degree!

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  4. I love the quiet defiance here! I lingered over "to sweat the fear inside out" and the trace elements.

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  5. A poem which invites me to re-read - it is so enticing. I love the line: "my patience to trill the brilliance of stars"

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  6. I like every jot and tiddle of this one. The only one who could ever know is another writer, and some of them might not even understand.

    Elizabeth

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  7. Beautifully worded and brilliantly written!

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  8. "where tongues thicken..." Wow. Thanks for sharing this. Nice One Shot! Love and Light, Sender

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  9. wonderul write...esp there in the close...finding stars in black holes...so you see the good in others? even when they suck all life into them seleves...smiles. nice one shot!

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  10. The poem has a kind of wound tension to it, and as strong surprise at the end. Fresh images too. One of your best that I've read.

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  11. Read a great deal of energy throughout the poem that struck with defiant tones; until the end where the poet shares an insight of self-knowledge in a positive light of transcendent patience. Also appreciate how the prompt honors Twain. Thanks for sharing your poem on One Shot!

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  12. I know some of this better than I want to today. Powerfully expressed. Well done.

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  13. The wrap up lines were catchy. Nice!

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  14. You capture the drive and difficulty of writing. Finding the way to get a thing said start to finish and here you said it so well. Thank you. Gay

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  15. There is a rhythm and repetition that is intriguing and engaging. Cracks open thought. Appreciated it. - Bill

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  16. I really enjoyed this poem and anyone reading it would certainly know now what a talented wordsmith you are :)

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  17. I exquisitely enjoyed this..lovely one shot!

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  18. I love this too - the second stanza the page turned back...that is my fav ...Great One Shot...leaving much to ponder...bkm

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  19. And what you don't know about me
    (or maybe you do)
    is how much I enjoy
    your poetry. Like this one.

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  20. Absolutely wonderful. I love the ending lines and that "trill the brilliance of stars" a wonderful read!

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  21. "What you don't know
    you don't know about me
    is my patience to trill the brilliance of stars

    in the deepest black holes."

    Wow! I love that! :-)

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  22. Amazing piece of writing. This is so well thought out and and executed; a true gem in a bin full of rock candy

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  23. Whoever gets to know that might run away if he is not the right one for you...

    Great one!
    ;)

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  24. That part "to trill the brilliance of the stars" is just stellar!

    Another winner, Maureen!

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  25. Incredible!

    "To sweat the fear inside out"

    Isn't that what we do each time we put our fingers to the keyboard?

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  26. ha...i liked glynns comment..a great share with one shot..thanks pete

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  27. Each stanza held a new surprise; each one I read and said this is my favorite line - no this - but this is good too. From hard red clay into loam-cultivated words to trilling the brilliance of stars in the deepest black holes, I was captivated. Then, when I thought you'd closed the lid you gave me the encore explanation of your prompt - my old friend, Huck.
    So glad that I checked out your blog. Will be adding you to my blog roll of poets that I love.

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