Very poised, very balanced, yet underneath there's a current of something deeper, belonging to that force that both pulls and sheds the rain. Lovely cadence, also.
I read this three times, and each time, I kept thinking about the times I wanted to see -- or be seen. But it's not always right or proper to do/be either.
I love all the splashed in the water and enjoyed so much reading your poem. Maybe it is better to not be seen but then on the other hand everyone wants to be seen. http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/20/the-fait-of-our-lands/#comment-1018
Your beautiful and deliberate forms force the reader to slow down, contemplate, wait, hold her breath. You set this up beautifully:
Embedded, I cannot read
the cloud shedding
what's pulled from the sea.
I see at the very least a chapbook of recent work waiting in the wings. Thanks so much for your comment on my poem today-- I worked a bit harder on it-- btw added you to what looks like a great group but feel free to d-add if you like-- I think you'd build even more audience for this blog linking there. xxxj
Simple, yet haunting -- we can't read the rain, we're not the eye inside the storm.
ReplyDelete"From inside the storm center"
ReplyDeletehow beautiful.
Reading the cycle.
ReplyDeleteoh i like all your splashes.
ReplyDeleteVery poised, very balanced, yet underneath there's a current of something deeper, belonging to that force that both pulls and sheds the rain. Lovely cadence, also.
ReplyDeletesplash made from a direct piece, nicely done!
ReplyDeleteDraws a beautiful picture of the water cycle
ReplyDeletesimple - balanced - with edge and craft you present a very subtle poem which is very distictive and cool
ReplyDeletei sure want my splash to count for something...though i dont mind if the eye is on me...smiles.
ReplyDeletewonderfully creative perspective...
ReplyDeleteI read this three times, and each time, I kept thinking about the times I wanted to see -- or be seen. But it's not always right or proper to do/be either.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful moment of smallness and bigness.
ReplyDeleteElegant and simple:
the cloud
shedding
what's pulled
from the sea.
I'll carry that with me today. Thank you.
I love all the splashed in the water and enjoyed so much reading your poem. Maybe it is better to not be seen but then on the other hand everyone wants to be seen.
ReplyDeletehttp://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/20/the-fait-of-our-lands/#comment-1018
I admire the simplicity of your approach. Gentle, but dynamic verses.
ReplyDeleteYour splash counts with ME, and always will!!
ReplyDeleteYour beautiful and deliberate forms force the reader to slow down, contemplate, wait, hold her breath. You set this up beautifully:
ReplyDeleteEmbedded,
I cannot read
the cloud
shedding
what's pulled
from the sea.
I see at the very least a chapbook of recent work waiting in the wings. Thanks so much for your comment on my poem today-- I worked a bit harder on it-- btw added you to what looks like a great group but feel free to d-add if you like-- I think you'd build even more audience for this blog linking there. xxxj
Beautiful. Deliberate. As I read, I feel as if I am being pulled under...
ReplyDeleteI love the economy.
ReplyDelete