Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Dust Up (Poem)

Dust Up

Gesture this
vow you tracked long in
looping noes.
Noh drama
repeats what sticks: your face holds
our play behind masks.

© 2011 Maureen E. Doallas
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I offer this poem, written in Shadorma form (a six-line stanza following a 3-5-3-3-7-5 syllabic pattern), for the One Shot Wednesday event at One Stop Poetry, which each week invites poets to share, read, and comment on each other's work. Be sure to visit the site late Tuesday afternoon and every Wednesday for the many contributors' poems.
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20 comments:

  1. Louise GallagherJune 21, 2011 at 8:31 AM

    your face holds / our play behind masks.

    Now that-s powerful!

    Well written Maureen you write great drama in few words! :)

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  2. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 9:37 AM

    a wonderful word dance.

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  3. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 5:16 PM

    Beautiful little gem to ponder. You got me to look up the difference between Kabuki and Noh.

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  4. UnknownJune 21, 2011 at 5:21 PM

    such power in so few words... really enjoyed reading!

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  5. Brian MillerJune 21, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    your face holds our play behind masks....

    two very superb lines maureen

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  6. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    Condensed and dense. Less is more and indeed this is 'more'.. // Peter.

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  7. AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 6:05 PM

    Interesting verse, a little mystery in a few words.

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  8. ayalaJune 21, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    Short and to the point!

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  9. signed...bkmJune 21, 2011 at 7:04 PM

    Repeats what sticks..my favorite line....tight and condensed write Maureen...bkm

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  10. UnknownJune 21, 2011 at 7:45 PM

    I read and reread to play with cadence and emphasis. The play, the act, the mask. Oh, how they hinder relationship.

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  11. BeachannyJune 21, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    Economy of movement and words here, Maureen. As others' have said, life's drama condensed exceptionally well. Gay

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  12. Elizabeth YoungJune 21, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    I particularly like: 'your face holds our play behind masks.'
    Something extremely insightful there!

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  13. Pat HattJune 21, 2011 at 10:39 PM

    Play behind masks

    That just hits the nail right on the head, very powerful write, nice.

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  14. GlynnJune 21, 2011 at 10:41 PM

    It's like watching one of those Noh dramas. Beautifully, and succinctly, done.

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  15. ReflectionsJune 22, 2011 at 12:42 AM

    Beautiful depth within your words so tenderly shared.

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  16. Grace O'MalleyJune 22, 2011 at 3:22 AM

    This is a small jewel. Glad I found you!

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  17. UnknownJune 22, 2011 at 10:29 AM

    Powerful write, as stated in prior comments the final couplet is spectacular. Love the form too ~ Rose

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  18. Ann GrenierJune 22, 2011 at 8:43 PM

    Intriguing word play and use of metaphor with the Japanese plays. Quite an imaginative way to dramatize a "dust up" :-) Love it!

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  19. AnonymousJune 22, 2011 at 9:06 PM

    I believe I'll add to the praise of the last two lines. Well done.

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  20. Shashidhar SharmaJune 24, 2011 at 10:59 PM

    Dear Maureen

    The last line was so perfect... and your use of words like 'Noh' was beautiful...


    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/06/whispers-lost-in-emptiness.html
    At Twitter @VerseEveryDay

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