promise
the water will
hold
the voices
caress
the hands
one
trails after one
barters
in that space
silence
falling that morning
like frost flowers
to sun
descending the voids
© 2011 Maureen E. Doallas
Note: I deliberately removed punctuation from this poem after I realized it can be read it in a number of different ways. I've also deliberately inverted the title from the wording in the poem so that it can be read both as question and imperative.
This recording demonstrates four of the different ways this poem might be read:
This recording demonstrates four of the different ways this poem might be read:
A beautiful poem on this sombre day -- no matter how you read it. I beautiful poem.
ReplyDeletewe lost flowers to the sun...a lovely line maureen
ReplyDeleteThis is really lovely. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteFor those who don't know, frost flowers are the most delicate of any. Google the term to learn what I mean.
ReplyDeleteI've also recorded my poem "Human Scale", written in 2010:
http://soundcloud.com/mdoallas/audio-recording-of-human-scale
Thank you for reading, listening, and commenting today.
i love that it can be read in different ways..
ReplyDeletethe water will hold...the voices caress..hold the voices..this is great maureen
An excellent memorial Maureen. I liked the duality without the punctuation and the beauty of your reading. G.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't heard all four when I posted. Stopped after two. Sorry. It was beautiful. Gay
ReplyDeleteAs always your couplets let more meaning through the blinds than if they knocked down walls. And the title and its inverse, depending on stress, take this inward in several different ways, as noted. Fine, clean writing, all the way.
ReplyDeleteWe will the water-- come seeking the renewal of the spirit there, and to cast down the great burden of guilt we all seem to continue to carry over the tragedy. I swore I wouldn't yield to it this year and then when I saw Clinton weep yesterday in PA, it was all over. I put something up after my poem on trauma/healing. Love to you this day, M. xxxj
ReplyDeleteother cool names of the frost formations...
ReplyDelete"ice flowers", "ice blossoms", "frost castles", "frost beard", "ice castles", "ice ribbons" or "crystallofolia"
i especially like crystallofolia :-)
thank you for the readings.
Thank you, Maureen. I love this poem, and love even more hearing you demonstrate different readings. 'Bartering in that space' - Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteslow motion
ReplyDeletelike in a dream
they fell
out of time
Such a lovely poem for a day like this. We need to also think of all the natural disasters around the world and the lives that were lost in these such as in Japan thank you so much
ReplyDeletehttp://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/11/the-sorrow-of-our-times/
I love how the words fall in a cascade... thank you Maureen. You are very gifted in your writing.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful poem. All four of them.
ReplyDeletei like them all
ReplyDeleteYour beautiful poem catches that "etching the sky" that Lorenzo posted. The final image of "frost flowers / to sun" is incredibly appealing, and arresting, conjuring the chill of those moments.
ReplyDeleteYour deliberateness always teaches me. You redefine purposeful. :) I'm googling frost flowers asap. It captured me.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for this, Maureen. The different ways of reading and feeling the poem nuance its light almost magically. The metaphor of frost flowers and the sun is powerful and arrestingly beautiful.
ReplyDelete