Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Space I Dream Into Being (Poem)

The Space I Dream Into Being

I look up, wanting
to finger the face

of rain, kohled lashes
slant against sky,

tiny dividing lines
scuffing clouds

blown thick
with hot breath,

so many words
escaping the space

I dream into being
between you and me.

© 2011 Maureen E. Doallas
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This is my response to a Random Acts of Poetry prompt at TweetSpeakPoetry. The prompt is to find a poem by looking up. If you care to share what you discovered upon looking up, post a link to your poem on the T.S. Poetry Press FaceBook wall. The deadline is today, November 16. Your poem could be selected for a feature at TweetSpeakPoetry or The High Calling or for an issue of Every Day Poems.

9 comments:

  1. The face of rain, a scrumptious conceit. I love your way of looking up.

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  2. Maureen, I really like when you write in pairs of lines. That really appeals to me, though I can't articulate why.

    Now, I need to look up "kohled"...
    (Thanks again!)

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  3. Monica, I made the word "kohl" a verb; in addition to the color, I wanted a play on a sound for "cold". When I think of cold, slant rain, I see it as these tiny black lines cutting up the sky.

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  4. i never thought about the face of rain before...

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  5. You've made it sound appealing ...

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  6. Love the beginning:

    "I look up, wanting
    to finger the face

    of rain,..."

    and

    "so many words
    escaping the space..."

    Wonderful wistful feeling here.

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  7. "blown thick with hot breath"...marvelous!

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  8. Ah, Maureen. I love this. Love the play on cold/kohled. I want to be like you when I grow up.

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  9. I second Sandra's comment. I was also drawn to the lines: "so many words/escaping the space". Those words played at the edges of my mind, drawing me in, skittering away, leaving me wondering. Thank you!

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