Monday, September 6, 2010

You Don't Know (Poem)

You Don't Know

You don't know
to turn hard red clay into loam
to cultivate words

as other than their own trace elements.

You don't know
to count a page twice turned back
a story as likely unfinished as ever begun.

You don't know
to fix the cure of silence
to the moment spent caressing the edge

where tongues thicken with misunderstanding.

You don't know
to sweat the fear inside out
to prime the trigger finger's hold

to let go.

What you don't know
you don't know about me
is my patience to trill the brilliance of stars

in the deepest black holes.

© 2010 Maureen E. Doallas. All Rights Reserved.
__________________________

I wrote this poem for Carry On Tuesday, which each week provides a prompt that participants are to use wholly or partly in an original poem or prose piece.

The prompt for Tuesday, September 7, comes from the first words of Chapter 1 of Mark Twain's 1884 classic The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: You don't know about me. . . .  

To read other Carry on Tuesday contributors' poems or prose for Prompt #69, go here.

31 comments:

n. davis rosback said...

i like this times a zillion.

Kathleen Overby said...

MY, my, my that's some kind of delicious. Nancy knows.
iLike X 1000000000000000000 too. :) :) :)

S. Etole said...

Oh, yes ... I agree to the nth degree!

Hannah Stephenson said...

I love the quiet defiance here! I lingered over "to sweat the fear inside out" and the trace elements.

vivinfrance said...

A poem which invites me to re-read - it is so enticing. I love the line: "my patience to trill the brilliance of stars"

Elizabeth said...

I like every jot and tiddle of this one. The only one who could ever know is another writer, and some of them might not even understand.

Elizabeth

Deborah said...

Beautifully worded and brilliantly written!

senderupwords said...

"where tongues thicken..." Wow. Thanks for sharing this. Nice One Shot! Love and Light, Sender

Brian Miller said...

wonderul write...esp there in the close...finding stars in black holes...so you see the good in others? even when they suck all life into them seleves...smiles. nice one shot!

Timoteo said...

Intriguing!

A. Jay Adler said...

The poem has a kind of wound tension to it, and as strong surprise at the end. Fresh images too. One of your best that I've read.

dustus said...

Read a great deal of energy throughout the poem that struck with defiant tones; until the end where the poet shares an insight of self-knowledge in a positive light of transcendent patience. Also appreciate how the prompt honors Twain. Thanks for sharing your poem on One Shot!

Neva Flores said...

I like this tremendously!

KB said...

Loving this!

Nara Malone said...

I know some of this better than I want to today. Powerfully expressed. Well done.

Emmanuel Ibok said...

The wrap up lines were catchy. Nice!

Beachanny said...

You capture the drive and difficulty of writing. Finding the way to get a thing said start to finish and here you said it so well. Thank you. Gay

Bill Cook said...

There is a rhythm and repetition that is intriguing and engaging. Cracks open thought. Appreciated it. - Bill

TALON said...

I really enjoyed this poem and anyone reading it would certainly know now what a talented wordsmith you are :)

Desert Rose said...

I exquisitely enjoyed this..lovely one shot!

signed...bkm said...

I love this too - the second stanza the page turned back...that is my fav ...Great One Shot...leaving much to ponder...bkm

Glynn said...

And what you don't know about me
(or maybe you do)
is how much I enjoy
your poetry. Like this one.

betweenhearts75 said...

Absolutely wonderful. I love the ending lines and that "trill the brilliance of stars" a wonderful read!

Susannah said...

"What you don't know
you don't know about me
is my patience to trill the brilliance of stars

in the deepest black holes."

Wow! I love that! :-)

Steven Marty Grant said...

Amazing piece of writing. This is so well thought out and and executed; a true gem in a bin full of rock candy

Dulce said...

Whoever gets to know that might run away if he is not the right one for you...

Great one!
;)

Eric Alder said...

That part "to trill the brilliance of the stars" is just stellar!

Another winner, Maureen!

Desert Rose said...

I absolutely love this one..:)))

HisFireFly said...

Incredible!

"To sweat the fear inside out"

Isn't that what we do each time we put our fingers to the keyboard?

Pete Marshall said...

ha...i liked glynns comment..a great share with one shot..thanks pete

brokenpenwriter said...

Each stanza held a new surprise; each one I read and said this is my favorite line - no this - but this is good too. From hard red clay into loam-cultivated words to trilling the brilliance of stars in the deepest black holes, I was captivated. Then, when I thought you'd closed the lid you gave me the encore explanation of your prompt - my old friend, Huck.
So glad that I checked out your blog. Will be adding you to my blog roll of poets that I love.