Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Cloud Cover (Poem)

Cloud Cover

Embedded,
I cannot read

the cloud
shedding

what's pulled
from the sea.

From inside
the storm center

the eye's not
on me

my splash made
not counted.

© 2011 Maureen E. Doallas

18 comments:

Glynn said...

Simple, yet haunting -- we can't read the rain, we're not the eye inside the storm.

Louise Gallagher said...

"From inside the storm center"

how beautiful.

S. Etole said...

Reading the cycle.

nance marie said...

oh i like all your splashes.

hedgewitch said...

Very poised, very balanced, yet underneath there's a current of something deeper, belonging to that force that both pulls and sheds the rain. Lovely cadence, also.

Pat Hatt said...

splash made from a direct piece, nicely done!

wolfsrosebud said...

Draws a beautiful picture of the water cycle

Arron Shilling said...

simple - balanced - with edge and craft you present a very subtle poem which is very distictive and cool

Brian Miller said...

i sure want my splash to count for something...though i dont mind if the eye is on me...smiles.

Patricia said...

wonderfully creative perspective...

Jennifer @ GettingDownWithJesus.com said...

I read this three times, and each time, I kept thinking about the times I wanted to see -- or be seen. But it's not always right or proper to do/be either.

Ruth said...

A beautiful moment of smallness and bigness.

Elegant and simple:

the cloud
shedding

what's pulled
from the sea.


I'll carry that with me today. Thank you.

Ann LeFlore said...

I love all the splashed in the water and enjoyed so much reading your poem. Maybe it is better to not be seen but then on the other hand everyone wants to be seen.
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/20/the-fait-of-our-lands/#comment-1018

Steve King said...

I admire the simplicity of your approach. Gentle, but dynamic verses.

Jannie Funster said...

Your splash counts with ME, and always will!!

jen revved said...

Your beautiful and deliberate forms force the reader to slow down, contemplate, wait, hold her breath. You set this up beautifully:

Embedded,
I cannot read

the cloud
shedding

what's pulled
from the sea.

I see at the very least a chapbook of recent work waiting in the wings. Thanks so much for your comment on my poem today-- I worked a bit harder on it-- btw added you to what looks like a great group but feel free to d-add if you like-- I think you'd build even more audience for this blog linking there. xxxj

Cathy said...

Beautiful. Deliberate. As I read, I feel as if I am being pulled under...

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

I love the economy.