Cloud Cover
Embedded,
I cannot read
the cloud
shedding
what's pulled
from the sea.
From inside
the storm center
the eye's not
on me
my splash made
not counted.
© 2011 Maureen E. Doallas
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
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18 comments:
Simple, yet haunting -- we can't read the rain, we're not the eye inside the storm.
"From inside the storm center"
how beautiful.
Reading the cycle.
oh i like all your splashes.
Very poised, very balanced, yet underneath there's a current of something deeper, belonging to that force that both pulls and sheds the rain. Lovely cadence, also.
splash made from a direct piece, nicely done!
Draws a beautiful picture of the water cycle
simple - balanced - with edge and craft you present a very subtle poem which is very distictive and cool
i sure want my splash to count for something...though i dont mind if the eye is on me...smiles.
wonderfully creative perspective...
I read this three times, and each time, I kept thinking about the times I wanted to see -- or be seen. But it's not always right or proper to do/be either.
A beautiful moment of smallness and bigness.
Elegant and simple:
the cloud
shedding
what's pulled
from the sea.
I'll carry that with me today. Thank you.
I love all the splashed in the water and enjoyed so much reading your poem. Maybe it is better to not be seen but then on the other hand everyone wants to be seen.
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/20/the-fait-of-our-lands/#comment-1018
I admire the simplicity of your approach. Gentle, but dynamic verses.
Your splash counts with ME, and always will!!
Your beautiful and deliberate forms force the reader to slow down, contemplate, wait, hold her breath. You set this up beautifully:
Embedded,
I cannot read
the cloud
shedding
what's pulled
from the sea.
I see at the very least a chapbook of recent work waiting in the wings. Thanks so much for your comment on my poem today-- I worked a bit harder on it-- btw added you to what looks like a great group but feel free to d-add if you like-- I think you'd build even more audience for this blog linking there. xxxj
Beautiful. Deliberate. As I read, I feel as if I am being pulled under...
I love the economy.
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