Deaf While Driving
I know how a tablespoon
of gin can make the stems
of the paperwhites erect
in their red shallow bowls
but not how to free you
from the obligation to see
how low my candle burns
while you, in traffic, thumb
your Blackberry and curse
damned weather. The channel
you're turned to is always loud
enough to drown me out,
because, you tell me, you can't
hear. I mind raising my voice
and shout anyway, imagining
the hum my words must make
as they travel, hit air, so many
charged particles of meaning
seeking their unknown heat
source. It's not just the radio
interference I fear is picking up;
it's more than the effects
they say a cell phone can have
on the brain's short waves.
© 2012 Maureen E. Doallas
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
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14 comments:
I love the picture you paint with your first two stanzas, Maureen. The imagery is powerful in this poem.
such a relief to get home ...
The tension is so palpable--your imagery is powerful and clear--
@AudreyHowitt
as they travel, hit air, so many
charged particles of meaning
I love these lines. Your poetry is so full of meaning and imagery.
ugh...the ignoring or not just noticing..hearing...all of it...is far too real....felt verse maureen...
Sparse and simple delivery that could never be mistaken for anything but nuanced and subtle as well--how hard it is to be heard when the static and ephemera of life get all the attention. Excellent piece, Maureen--you know I love your couplets work.
I agree with Andee....it's an interesting switch in the beginning of this poem. It makes me feel yanked into the poem (which works well).
tuned-in and tuned-out...
... so many excellent images conveyed, and I especially like this at the end:
imagining
the hum my words must make
as they travel, hit air, so many
charged particles of meaning
seeking their unknown heat
source.
Well done!
What Brian and Nancy said. A poem, screaming.
I second what everyone else has said. Your sharpness of attention (to words, to life's moments) is a gift for all your readers.
And I had fun reading your "labels" (tags) for this poem: the list read aloud sounds like a poem itself!
--Peggy Rosenthal
A self-imposed tinnitus, a barrier of sound - as impenetrable as the Berlin Wall - between two people. Well-imagined, well-executed; one of your best.
A disturbing, thought provoking poem.
So chiseled, and a powerful sense of intention in this poem-- really gorgeous, Maureen. I especially love:
I know how a tablespoon
of gin can make the stems
of the paperwhites erect
in their red shallow bowls
but not how to free you
from the obligation to see
how low my candle burns
while you, in traffic, thumb
your Blackberry and curse
damned weather.
Wrenching, exquisite.
xxxj
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