Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Wish (Poem)


The ocean soughs, wanting
to re-place the conch, pinned
in the dune turned suddenly sallow
below the moon-blued sky. Not
a nest for the turtle eggs, broken
sacks spilling unseen hearts,
my own as tiny as the smallest
wish I made for you.

© 2014 Maureen E. Doallas


Peggy Rosenthal said...

What strikes me here as especially effective is the rhythm that you sustain: those 3 strong beats to each line, like ocean waves. But also the sharp imagery and your signature line-endings: how "wanting," "pinned," "Not," "broken," and "smallest" hang there holding an initial meaning, which then gets re-contextualized by the line that follows. Alliteration also works well to tighten this gem of a poem.

humbird said...

Love the contrast of dynamics here from Fortissimo at the beginning to diminuendo and whispering at the end...
It'd be nice to listen the poem in recording...