Friday, April 9, 2010

Grief (Poem)


There used to be ways
to mourn the ones you lose,
like dressing in Victorian black
the rest of your life
or taking a week off work.

Grieving's still called a process
by some who think you need
to take it one step at a time
one step after the other
till the pit in your heart fills.

What some don't get
is that grieving is never done;
it just gets put down
a little bit more each day
as you try to remember—and can't

count any more the days and weeks
and months and years
since that first minute
you lost and another turned
with the hands of the clock

you'd like to shut off—and can't
because time is on your side.
It can give you a headache sometimes,
this figuring out how to be
with people when you're without

people you love.

© 2010 Maureen E. Doallas. All Rights Reserved.


Joy said...

Thank you for sharing this.

Kathleen said...

'figuring out how' is a chore for sure.

katdish said...

Perfect. Thank you, Maureen.

Melissa said...

Yes, the ones you are without appear out of nowhere as if they're right there with you, and then they disappear as quickly as they came. And no, it's never done. The bittersweet just stays. (Thank you for this.)

Glynn said...

Maureen -- this is part 3 of the elegies for your father and brother. It aches with feeling, emotion and love -- and I think that's a good thing.

Cassandra Frear said...

I held my breath at the end. Simply beautiful.

How severe the grave, how deep the stillness after the one we love will never say another word just so.

But sorrow carves us into the image of Christ. For he was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. In this, is he our most beloved companion, our light, and our savior.

M.L. Gallagher said...

Hello beautiful Maureen,

Yes, there is an aching and there is a lightness of being, a light, a spirit of hope and trust and love.



Bonnie Gray said...

"as you try to remember-- and can't"

This ached, even for one as me who hasn't lost a father.

Thank you for sharing. Your heart is giving loss a voice... and in that, gathers a space and place for strength.

You will be that friend someone turns to, as you understand that place of grief and release.

Anonymous said...

and without
so much loss
over time
so much gained
in Love
with grief
our nightly news
our daily prayer

Monica Sharman said...

I have a fear of grief, having never experienced it much. You give me such insights, preparing me...

sarah said...

argh, no offence, but these embedded comments boxes are so annoying! I've just had to reload three times about four different blogs with them! ANYWAY, I think your poem is great - I especially like the first stanza. Very clever. :-)

S. Etole said...

grief a stranger you never want to meet that becomes an intimate companion ... and fades

Doreen McGettigan said...

That was beautiful and very timely for me as the month of April is my grieving younger brother was murdered 11 years ago this month and my step son died of suicide 13 years ago this month..

lucy said...

amen. "It can give you a headache sometimes,
this figuring out how to be
with people when you're without

people you love."

my post today speaks of this kind of grief that others often don't know how to engage.

if you don't mind, i'd like to also print this at lucy creates (with full credit and link, of course)... it's something i don't want to forget.