A Naked Eye Turned Inward
A scrap of moon fights the sky for its light
and I, braced for the shining, reach through clouds
thrown up in our way. Your eyes fix on night,
on seeing how constellations can crowd
from view the remnants of the comet's tail
pulling us through storms. My own hook on loops
of Orion's belt, its star studs like nails
holding me in place, alone to recoup
what we have lost as one. The Scorpion
raised, the hunter bares full sword, and as we
were — once quick to orbit the other's sun —
fall prey, each left a dark dust cloud to flee.
Like ancient tales our own we tell as new.
A naked eye turned inward sees end through.
© 2011 Maureen E. Doallas
Audio Recording of A Naked Eye Turned Inward by mdoallas
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
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28 comments:
"braced for the shining" -- beautiful.
Love the poem -- and your last two lines are stunning.
Oh this hurts, M, in the strangest, most beautiful way.
You get caught up in the imagery and you don't quite know what is coming until you realize where you are and that you have known that feeling - that you do know that feeling.
It is exquisite.
This caught me a bit unaware ... and I ponder.
Everything about this is good. A scrap of moon fights - love the turn, usually creatures fight for scraps but here the scrap fights..clever. Then the layering where night sky becomes symbolic of a cold space in the relationship and deeper into the myths that surround the names and back to solitude, coldness, and pain. Yet even though there is sympathy for the narrator here, there is an understanding that the coldness in the relationship mirrors that of space and is faultless almost.
Excellent work Maureen. Each week I read your poems and am rewarded with their depth, fluidity, and precision. Thank you.
Truly we are fated to read the alphabet of the stars when we love. We are blinded and singed, song torn from us. This is delectable, beautifully imagined and constructed. I especially love:
My own hook on loops
of Orion's belt, its star studs like nails
holding me in place, alone to recoup
what we have lost as one.
Revelatory of a mastery of the craft of poetry. xxxxj
the depths to which you plunge in such beautiful imagery...it aches...very nice maureen....
Is that you speaking? You sound just like I imagined you would. Lovely.
Yes, Kathy; 'tis I.
The sonnet's stately and structured pace holds the wine in the wineglass of this poem poerfectly, a balanced and mellow draft with a film of loss and sadness left on the tongue. Lovely.
There's no place like the being among the stars to take us on a galaxy flight of dreams.
A lovely read, thank you.
The loops in Orion's belt -- that's way cool. And I bet he has a big belt buckle he flashes at Pegasus, and off they both ride towards The North Star?
I love how you inspired me!
Orbiting the other's sun, we are often sucked in by their gravitational pull, only to be torched by the all-consuming fire of love.
A stunning flight through the heavens in love...left as one..then alone..then naked...very nice Maureen..thank you..bkm
wow! that was quite a ride...
I agree: a lovely read. But it does make me worry; the sadness is palpable.
This peice really transports the reader within it's tale, wonderfully done.
What a nice capture of nighttime you've given us.
This is, quite simple, amazing. I don't think one such as I can add anything more than the already glowing comments you've received. I will, however, enjoy it a second time! Wonderful
hauntingly beautiful and sad. your words provoke such wonderful images. i can almost picture the fighting moon and you hanging from Orion's belt. lovely.
Sadness and great loss permeate this beautiful piece Maureen, but it is interwoven in such a delightful way that though we may be haunted, we are infinitely richer.
I especially like the final couplet. That last line is a star all by itself.
This poem is beautiful !
Great sonnet narrative, Maureen! Love the story, full of movement among the stars, which are a fav them of mine.
Like ancient tales our own we tell as new.
A naked eye turned inward sees end through.
Thank you for the beautiful reading as well. These tales are more alive in the world than often acknowledged. It's a shame because we can gain so much humanity through them. Beautiful.
And through this poem we saikl to the stars. C'est wonderful.
This is a gorgeous piece. That last couplet is stunning.
The scrap of moon, an eye or a shield, or both, shines in this vision of the night sky. A universe in a grain of sand . . . a relationship in the myths and constellations, you pull me through from universal to personal very well.
Maureen,
Loved hearing your voice. Your head and heart knowledge of poetry is intimidating in a good way. Mostly, I appreciate that you do not stop me from getting in the sandbox to play while you are building ornate castles like this piece. =)
... I am struck by your words... I have been there. What an amazing way to describe it.
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