Only with kisses
can we learn
each other's imperfect
moves,
our lips, red
like poppies,
urging us two
steps forward,
not once looking
back.
© 2013 Maureen E. Doallas
_________________________
This poem was inspired by the line "Only with kisses and red poppies can I love you" from Pablo Neruda's "Ode With a Lament" in The Essential Neruda: Selected Poems (Bilingual Edition), edited by Mark Eisner (City Lights Books, 2004). The line is among others of Neruda's quoted in Word Candy, a quotation- and photo-based app from T.S. Poetry Press.
Online, the poem is found here and here, among other sites. For an interesting interview with Neruda, go here.
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10 comments:
Oh, lovely!
I like "urging us two steps forward"
I might end it there, with words and no punctuation after. I once had an editor tell me that about a poem of mine. It ends like this:
And see how I grieve
when I think of the time
before you left,
stroking my knee
and telling me
when you return...
when you return...
when you return
There was another stanza after, that told how the beloved never did return, and gave the narrator's response. The editor felt it wasn't needed. At the time I gave in, grudgingly. Now I don't even remember the words, except that they made the whole poem too "on the nose," if that makes sense. And it's better open-ended. I don't know if this is true of your poem, but thought you might wish to explore it...or not.
Either way, I like the imagery and that two steps stanza very much. As ever, your references are so much appreciated.
Peace and continued good things for you, Maureen, in poetry and in life.
Diane
ha very nice...its only in intimacy that we will truly understand...though at times that is a scary process...
beautiful and so true...
Mesmerising...
Simply told truths..
easy to envision ...
learning each other's imperfect moves...
beautiful.
Bravo!
Bravo!
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