Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Space I Dream Into Being (Poem)

The Space I Dream Into Being

I look up, wanting
to finger the face

of rain, kohled lashes
slant against sky,

tiny dividing lines
scuffing clouds

blown thick
with hot breath,

so many words
escaping the space

I dream into being
between you and me.

© 2011 Maureen E. Doallas

This is my response to a Random Acts of Poetry prompt at TweetSpeakPoetry. The prompt is to find a poem by looking up. If you care to share what you discovered upon looking up, post a link to your poem on the T.S. Poetry Press FaceBook wall. The deadline is today, November 16. Your poem could be selected for a feature at TweetSpeakPoetry or The High Calling or for an issue of Every Day Poems.


Ruth said...

The face of rain, a scrumptious conceit. I love your way of looking up.

Monica Sharman said...

Maureen, I really like when you write in pairs of lines. That really appeals to me, though I can't articulate why.

Now, I need to look up "kohled"...
(Thanks again!)

Maureen said...

Monica, I made the word "kohl" a verb; in addition to the color, I wanted a play on a sound for "cold". When I think of cold, slant rain, I see it as these tiny black lines cutting up the sky.

nance marie said...

i never thought about the face of rain before...

S. Etole said...

You've made it sound appealing ...

violet said...

Love the beginning:

"I look up, wanting
to finger the face

of rain,..."


"so many words
escaping the space..."

Wonderful wistful feeling here.

michelle ortega said...

"blown thick with hot breath"...marvelous!

Sandra Heska King said...

Ah, Maureen. I love this. Love the play on cold/kohled. I want to be like you when I grow up.

Cindee Snider Re said...

I second Sandra's comment. I was also drawn to the lines: "so many words/escaping the space". Those words played at the edges of my mind, drawing me in, skittering away, leaving me wondering. Thank you!