I look up, wanting
to finger the face
of rain, kohled lashes
slant against sky,
tiny dividing lines
scuffing clouds
blown thick
with hot breath,
so many words
escaping the space
I dream into being
between you and me.
© 2011 Maureen E. Doallas
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This is my response to a Random Acts of Poetry prompt at TweetSpeakPoetry. The prompt is to find a poem by looking up. If you care to share what you discovered upon looking up, post a link to your poem on the T.S. Poetry Press FaceBook wall. The deadline is today, November 16. Your poem could be selected for a feature at TweetSpeakPoetry or The High Calling or for an issue of Every Day Poems.
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9 comments:
The face of rain, a scrumptious conceit. I love your way of looking up.
Maureen, I really like when you write in pairs of lines. That really appeals to me, though I can't articulate why.
Now, I need to look up "kohled"...
(Thanks again!)
Monica, I made the word "kohl" a verb; in addition to the color, I wanted a play on a sound for "cold". When I think of cold, slant rain, I see it as these tiny black lines cutting up the sky.
i never thought about the face of rain before...
You've made it sound appealing ...
Love the beginning:
"I look up, wanting
to finger the face
of rain,..."
and
"so many words
escaping the space..."
Wonderful wistful feeling here.
"blown thick with hot breath"...marvelous!
Ah, Maureen. I love this. Love the play on cold/kohled. I want to be like you when I grow up.
I second Sandra's comment. I was also drawn to the lines: "so many words/escaping the space". Those words played at the edges of my mind, drawing me in, skittering away, leaving me wondering. Thank you!
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