If you can imagine your garage
filling with carbon dioxide
while you sit content in your car
breathing in the mountain-fresh pine
-scented odor-eater your wife, too
alert to your pipe tobacco, insists
you hang from the rear-view mirror,
you will get the picture. You will
always keep the door to the outside
open and take pains to light up on
your own time. You will consider
asking your wife, now that she's showered
her skin loose of its clingy perfumed bathroom
cleaners and laundry whiteners,
to put a fingertip of woolly white lavender
behind each ear, inside the soft creases
where her arm bones join,
along those tiny wrists you will raise
to your nose and then kiss ever
so lightly she will barely have time
to resist your calloused hand
as it slides to the small
of her back and gently moves her
forward, out of harsh light, stopping
where the waxy yellow of a candle
provides all the atmosphere
you will need this once to recall being
that afternoon in the south of France
where you tested your senses
against the reach of the galling sea
and the smells of bodies lotioned
and turning with the freckled sun's changing
direction. You will remember, later,
the hints of bright citrus and melons
as you sipped La Belle Vie and broke
a long arm of warmed bread and spread
a clot of creamy churned butter
and, later still, made much of the taste
of lips (their red like fresh strawberries),
crushing quietly between teeth before
slipping along a tongue that never
but once has known such sweetness.
© 2011 Maureen E. Doallas
_________________________________
This poem is inspired by a prompt, Marie-Elizabeth Mali's "Second Year of Marriage" from Steady, My Gaze (Tebot Bach, 2011), in the most recent issue of poet Diane Lockward's newsletter. The instructions were to "[w]rite down the names of some sensuous food items, ones with fabulous aromas. Write down some other items with strong, distinctive smells. Let one or more of these trigger a memory. Go back to another time and place. Is there another person in your present scene or in the past scene? Let this be a love poem, though it doesn't have to be a romantic love poem. Now see how you might pull your material into a draft that shifts back and forth between past and present. Try just free-writing at first. Give yourself 10 minutes. Shape your material into a poem, maybe eventually using two-line stanzas as Marie-Elizabeth has."
Diane Lockward's Blogalicious: Notes on Poetry, Poets, and Books
21 comments:
We're both, in ways,writing about time this morning.
Yours is fascinating. Beautiful poem.
The scent of lavender wafts throughout it -- one of my favourites.
I so loved all the scents here!
OMG, Maureen, before I read your process notes I thought...this is an ode to the sense of smell. I'm not sure I remember another scent poem as strong as this one. Bravo.
this whets the senses well ...
[yes, the flowers are in my flower beds]
perhaps he shall go on dreaming...
Beautiful and deserving of praise. Like Victoria and others said, you have captured the beauty of scent. Bravo!
goodness maureen this is just gorgeous...fromt he garage and all its texture to the wife to a holiday to...but it all played so well together...love the detail...it sets the feel...
At first read I thought that the second line said "carbon monoxide" (probably because I was reading Anne Sexton last night) -- which gave a decidedly different drift to the entire poem. On a second read, my, what a sexy poem. I thought of my wife's tiny wrist, among other things. Really a lovely poem.
David
This poem just blows me away Maureen, the detail and form are exquisite, telling a full story within its lines.
What a sensory feast ... truly remarkable.
Almost in a dream state just reading. You took this prompt and made it your own. the fragrances really do some heavy lifting here, bringing past images into and out of focus like a cinematic montage. Enjoyed this very skillful(invisibly so) and liquid poem very much.
Wow this one was filled with beauty and vivid detail, great job!
The details and images here just great.
I hadn't seen this-- I wrote to this prompt as well, my green chiles poem which I think you've seen, and used it in Triggered Muse. It is stunning. xxxj
Simply wonderful.
Thank goodness for smell!
Wow. I love everything about this poem -- most especially the way the line breaks help pull you through the memories...
Just a wonderful write Maureen it captures the senses and thoughts linger long after reading....very nice...bkm
This was so good that I forgot it started in the garage. Wonderful...
beauty is in the nose of the beholder and you certainly conveyed this with your beautiful poem ...thank you
Vivid and dark! Great poem.
Not only was this delicious in its sensory poetics, it was the best use of contrast as a poetic device I think I've ever read. From the beginning carbon monoxide camouflage to the image of a couple changed by time but so in love that any sensory trigger brought back those magical early memories that carried them through the rocky times. Excellent!
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