Lean into the idea:
not of the taking leave
of the dreams
brash
in your eyes
his once cradled
the promise
lifting
empty air
the screen
against
the too-veiled light
breaking
out before down
days to day become
and a moment
a door closed to.
Silence surges
in the space
between
the vowing
and the letting go.
Breath settles
invisible
as tears
beading
seize
the pool forming
where deep
has no meaning
limned
as fragments
found
wanting fail
a summing up
a doing
two
a heart knuckling
the inevitability
of the last dance
too early
called.
© 2010 Maureen E. Doallas. All Rights Reserved.
_________________________________________
I posted this poem for One Stop Poetry, which weekly sponsors "One Shot Wednesday", an event for which poets write and post to their blogs an original poem, in any form, and then share it with the One Stop community.
Go here for the details and then go write a poem.
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29 comments:
Your poetry has movement...
I especially felt it here...
"Silence surges
in the space
between
the vowing
and the letting go."
I can always enjoy a poetry lift away here.
Outstanding. Think your lines offer good advice about coping—read it aloud, sounded to me like the poet gradually regaining breath at a level behind the imagery, perhaps most at this break between lines:
"in the space
between
the vowing
and the letting go.
Breath settles
invisible"
Enjoyed it. Thanks
I love the succession, like a build-up of the tension. It's like a taut strong that you finally "ping."
oh, you write well... so well. i'm so glad to have found your space here.
excellent flow...and i seem to love the same line and break as everyone else as this is where my breath settled as well...nice one shot!
I held my breathe until I read, "breath settles"...love the tension.
hit by a mac truck
it plays in slow motion
over and over
until i understand
this idea
they tell me
what steps must
be danced
that was very well written, we are all picking up on the breathe settles, but subconsciously that is what you made me do..thanks for sharing Pete
...the last dance too early called...
loved this ending to your flowing poem..
We have crossed paths so often over this network, and I have enjoyed reading your words.
This is so poignant. I love, "silence surges in the place between the vowing and the letting go" - just makes my heart ache a bit.
You are so gifted Maureen.
I too resonate with the whole poem, and in particular the lines, 'silence surges in the place between the vowing and the letting go'.
Achingly beautiful.
Excellent. There are so many lovely lines, but "dance too early called" really sings for me.
in the space/ between/ the vowing/ and the letting go" seems to have struck a chord with many. Me, too.
I love the Title because it can pertain to life but also to an aspect of life. The poem succeeds in leaning with energy into the goal.
Masterfully done Maureen
thanks for sharing this at One Shot
Love from the Moon
Nice triplets. There's a definite, yet hesitant, cadence to this that leads one through it.
Thank you all for your many wonderful comments. The inspiration for this was a friend marking the second anniversary of her husband's death from cancer.
So complex. No dross here at all. Lump. In. Throat.
Elegant elegy. Written so well and without sentimentality. Strong poetry beautifully built. Thank you.
You know I know nothing about poetry, Maureen, but I just love this--how you strung the words together. I don't even know if it means the same to you as it does to me, but I guess in the end it doesn't matter, because it does mean something to me. Thank you.
There was a lovely rhythm in this poem..the last lines just break aheart. I'm so sorry for your friend's loss.
i especially liked,
"the promise
lifting
empty air"
and
"silence surges in the space between the vowing"
"silence surges in the space between the vowing and the letting go-- really love this-- it could be a first line for a new poem perhaps taking you deeper into that place we all know, and visit too frequently.
A time of life of loss up against the richness of knowing someone and the aftermath of that person in one's life-- beautiful. xj
"last dance too early called"
there's something there that is pulling on my heart...
I believe you've written something that will speak to everyone exactly what God wants them to hear.
two
a heart knuckling
the inevitability
of the last dance
too early
called.
So very true to life...you have life to your words. Thanks for sharing x
Dear Maureen,
I appreciate the structure and tightness of this. It reminds me of a poem I wrote after my father died that I've been meaning to get back to. "Lean in to me, and I'll learn into you," his wordless promise when I was born... As it is your poem makes me think of life and loss. Thank you. Peace,
Diane
two
a heart knuckling
the inevitability
of the last dance
too early
called.
So very true to life...you have life to your words. Thanks for sharing x
This has such rhythm as that which beats within the life-rocked heart. Thank you for these words, Maureen.
I like this so much...
"the pool forming
where deep
has no meaning"
Beautifully written and heartfelt poem.
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