Dust Up
Gesture this
vow you tracked long in
looping noes.
Noh drama
repeats what sticks: your face holds
our play behind masks.
© 2011 Maureen E. Doallas
I offer this poem, written in Shadorma form (a six-line stanza following a 3-5-3-3-7-5 syllabic pattern), for the One Shot Wednesday event at One Stop Poetry, which each week invites poets to share, read, and comment on each other's work. Be sure to visit the site late Tuesday afternoon and every Wednesday for the many contributors' poems.
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20 comments:
your face holds / our play behind masks.
Now that-s powerful!
Well written Maureen you write great drama in few words! :)
a wonderful word dance.
Beautiful little gem to ponder. You got me to look up the difference between Kabuki and Noh.
such power in so few words... really enjoyed reading!
your face holds our play behind masks....
two very superb lines maureen
Condensed and dense. Less is more and indeed this is 'more'.. // Peter.
Interesting verse, a little mystery in a few words.
Short and to the point!
Repeats what sticks..my favorite line....tight and condensed write Maureen...bkm
I read and reread to play with cadence and emphasis. The play, the act, the mask. Oh, how they hinder relationship.
Economy of movement and words here, Maureen. As others' have said, life's drama condensed exceptionally well. Gay
I particularly like: 'your face holds our play behind masks.'
Something extremely insightful there!
Play behind masks
That just hits the nail right on the head, very powerful write, nice.
It's like watching one of those Noh dramas. Beautifully, and succinctly, done.
Beautiful depth within your words so tenderly shared.
This is a small jewel. Glad I found you!
Powerful write, as stated in prior comments the final couplet is spectacular. Love the form too ~ Rose
Intriguing word play and use of metaphor with the Japanese plays. Quite an imaginative way to dramatize a "dust up" :-) Love it!
I believe I'll add to the praise of the last two lines. Well done.
Dear Maureen
The last line was so perfect... and your use of words like 'Noh' was beautiful...
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/06/whispers-lost-in-emptiness.html
At Twitter @VerseEveryDay
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