Monday, November 8, 2010

Castoffs (Poem)


Do you remember what we promised when we met,
     meaning forever to promise keep?

Do you imagine the snake slid, in close before closer,
     leaves conjuring rot and cracking the stillness?

Do you think for minute I didn't think, the taste a taunt
     to try?

Do you recall how our tongues tied thick with words
     as the worm from the apple surfaced?

Tell me this, before you tell me again what it is like to lie
     as a wolf with lamb and not feel hunger.

© 2010 Maureen E. Doallas

I wrote this poem for Carry on Tuesday, which each week provides a prompt that participants are to use wholly or partly in an original poem or prose piece.

The prompt for Tuesday, November 9, consists of the first line of My Love, an ancient folk song updated and recorded by the English folk-rock band Steeleye Span: Do you remember what we promised when we met. . . .

To read other Carry on Tuesday contributors' poems or prose for prompt #78, go here.


Carry on Tuesday Plus (Steeleye Span Video of and Lyrics to My Love)

Obituary for Steeleye Span's Founder-Member Tim Hart, January 2, 2010


Hannah Stephenson said...

I enjoy where your mind went on this one.

katdish said...

So much said in such an economy of words. Betrayal has such a universal language unfortunately.

Very nicely done, Maureen.

Anonymous said...

our tongues tied thick with words

i like that line

faith said...

This conjures such vivid images!

Kathleen Overby said...

Oh my. I have no words. This would put anyone in the corner long enough to look inside and feel deep sorrow of the kind that produces repentance that leads to change. This is my favorite, since my last favorite. How did you work this out?

G.K. Asante said...

Very intense, even visceral. I love it!

Anonymous said...

Ooh, I like this, especially the tail-twist last line.

Diane Walker said...

I love the power of that last line...

Anonymous said...

Beautiful, beautiful. Oh, the bitter regret of a lost Eden. That was a completely unexpected take on the prompt. This is amazing.