You don't have a contingency
plan, nothing remotely like a blueprint
for going deeper into the mines,
not a single notion of how to shut
the trap door against the invasion
of doubts strung taut on a line. Too many
suddenly loud voices run parallel arguments
to go, to stay, to run, to hide, to just sit tight.
I fall flat.
I don't have a substitute, no one
stand-in to dance me around
and through the twists of words meant
to shore up the meanings intended,
to pick through fragments, snippets,
jottings of foreign spellings still needing
translation to give a clever story an ending
faithful to the vow of happily ever after.
© 2011 Maureen E. Doallas
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I offer this poem for the One Shot Wednesday event at One Stop Poetry, which each week invites poets to share, read, and comment on each other's work. Be sure to visit the site late Tuesday afternoon and every Wednesday for links to the many contributors' poems.
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19 comments:
The story of doubt, the story of things not going as planned, and told well. Good poem, Maureen.
This is awesome Maureen -- thanks for putting my thinking at times into such powerful words!
This is a favorite!
" ... the invasion of doubts strung taut on a line ..."
how beautifully said. If we just cut the line with a sharp knife, would all those doubts just fall to the ground and melt away? hmmmmm
i didn't start with a plan in the first place.
i'm really screwed up, because the expectations
emerge anyway.
I think this is everywoman's song, but more expertly unfolded than any other woman could. It expresses those frustrations with those we live with and love when there seem to be formidable barriers to getting from the point we started to the one we expected to go. Excellent work as always, Maureen. Thank you,
it's sometimes better when things don't go as planned... very well written poem.
interesting that we both focused on "words" as the subject of our recent poems -- and I really am taken by your perspective here.
"...words meant to shore up the meanings intended" love this reflection on the challenges of communication...
Nice piece Maureen. :)
Hi Maureen, I admit that I find your poetry so deep I am not always sure how to interpret it, but love this poem. I love the image of 'doubts strung taut on a line,' and think that many couples go through difficulties such as those mentioned here in one form or another. Many thanks, Elizabeth.
too true for the author and the person living the book of life
always telling Maureen and so dead center
moonie hugs
My first visit, Maureen, and I enjoyed the experience of reading this poem. One part in particular stuck with me. When confronted by all those options of activity in response to the doubts described, the speaker falls flat. I don't believe that means giving up, but it's such a common reaction so interestingly expressed. Thanks for allowing me to read this thoughtful piece.
I like your use of enjambment, especially "...contingency / plan..." and "...shut // the trap door..." Often I find spilling lines onto the next feels staged, but here it adds tension, not to speak of an extra emphasis on certain words.
And I hope the clever story does end faithful to the vow of ever after for the "I" in the poem. We all want a happy ending -- whether for ourselves or someone else.
Dear Maureen
I liked it a lot... and your words like
'I dont have a substitute, no one
Stand-in to dance me around'
I could relate to this verse a lot,......
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/05/whispers-buddha-and-life.html
At Twitter @VerseEveryDay
They prick like nettles
On the way
Doubts and dilemmas
Do I move or stay?
But yonder there
Beyond the bend
Is an open sky
And a waiting friend
So I gently pick out
The hurting thorns
Ignore the bruises
And carry on. :-)
(Just back from a trek. Couldn't help myself):-) Glad I found this meadow in my strollings.
lovely composed piece ~ Rose
Excellent skewering of that sense of being at a loss, bereft of guidance in a place where one felt secure, that life and relationship so often bring us. And as I've said before,I always enjoy it when you employ your couplet style of verse structure as well.
I really like the last line....nice piece.
I read this several times, immensely enjoyed it. I sense the longing due to the lack of the contingency plan and the substitute. Excellent poem.
Wonderful poem. The reader can substitue her own sense of doubt and hear conflicting advice about personal problem situations --- recognize herself in your words.
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