Annika Ruohonen, Embrace, 2010
© 2010 Annika Ruohonen All Rights Reserved
Used With Permission
Holding Hands
Hand seeking hand,
five fingers into five to lace
tight, so soft this knot of love,
this seal of hearts' delight.
Five fingers into five to lace
left hand with left,
this seal of hearts' delight
everlasting in the book of One.
Left hand with left
joined, in promise made
everlasting, in the book of One
man and woman both become.
In promise made
tight, so soft this knot of love
of Adam for his Eve this night,
hand seeking hand.
© 2010 Maureen E. Doallas
______________________________
I offer this poem for One Stop Poetry's weekly "One Shot Wednesday" event. Be sure to visit the site late Tuesday afternoon and evening and every Wednesday for links to the many contributors' "one shot" poems.
I also note that this is the first time in many years (I've been out of college for decades) that I have tried to write a pantoum poem, though this one is not strictly to form, as I have taken a bit of liberty with punctuation (to make sense of the lines, or change it) and have not observed the traditional rhyme scheme (abab, bcbc, etc.) indicated, for example, in Lewis Turco's The Book of Forms, my copy of which dates to 1968 (!). I have, however, observed the repetition pattern of 1 2 3 4 (stanza 1), 2 5 4 6 (stanza 2), 5 7 6 8 (stanza 3), and 9 3 10 1 (stanza 4).
A pantoum may consist of any number of quatrains (four-line stanzas) and its lines may be of any length in any meter. Some maintain an effective pantoum requires at least five stanzas, which was challenge enough for me to try the achievement in four.
And if I haven't got the form right to your liking, please take the matter up with my friend here.
How to Write a Pantoum Poem
My thanks to Annika Ruohonen for permission to use her beautiful photograph to complement my poem.
15 comments:
Hadn't heard of this poetry form before. Nice job.
Very nice - a sense of softness to it...and calmness...bkm
beautiful in its simple essence.
I like the discipline of form. When one is working within a form, every word is chosen carefully, which adds to their power and the effectiveness of the message. Nicely done.
My One Spot Wednesday entry is here:
http://shawnbird.com/2010/11/24/trus/
Lovely use of repitition and circularity - you really do weave a spell
I love this-- the repetition makes for an incantatory and mystical effect. I'll have to try it. As usual, your trademark delicacy and strength! xxxj
I almost missed this gentle one ... so glad I didn't.
When my son was very young and felt threatened by a doctor's visit or the like he would always say, "Hand, hand," and reach for mine.
i am lucky...my daughter is 6 and my youngest son is two...i so love being able to still hold their hands and they love holding mine..which they find so huge!!! a lovely write and have a happy thanksgiving..cheers pete
Nice use of the form; I'd just dimly heard of it, but seeing it used brings out how subtly it moves the images forward. Very nicely done.
No complaints here, Maureen... Nice One Shot!
An excellent rhythm in this form. Found it a very enjoyable sound in the head. Also love romance and the use of repetition. Left, left (joy for a left-handed person!)
Such a beautifully written piece, I almost forgot to breath while reading…. a pleasure to read your writing!
A great deal of layering to your poem, which fits the form like interlaced fingers holding hands. And as much as I enjoyed the use of form, the expression of finding love pervades overall, making the hand holding image all the more poignant. One of my favorite poems of yours. Happy Thanksgiving.
this is beautiful - so much in holding hands...and i also liked the pic..looks almost as if the trees want to hold hands as well..
Dear Maureen
Hand seeking hand.. what a beautiful line... I enjoyed the vividness of the words and the emotions that are so beautifully portrayed in this ...
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
Post a Comment